Communicating with families in difficult situations

Introduction

Social workers in Wales face a number of challenges in their work with families. When we asked social care workers what research evidence would support them in their interactions with families, they said they’d like to understand more about strengths-based practices. They also asked for information on how to encourage families to engage with social workers. We’ve written about how social workers can improve relationships with marginalised families in our evidence summary on building trust with marginalised families. In this evidence summary, we look more closely at why social workers sometimes struggle to see harm and how good communication skills can help them build trust with families.

In 2022, there were 7,080 children living in care in Wales. This makes Wales the country with the highest proportion of looked after children in the UK. Hodges and Bristow (2019) suggest that Wales might have the highest proportion of looked after children in the world. The reason for this isn’t clear, but some social workers believe that there are too many children living in care in Wales and that social workers’ placement decisions may sometimes be too risk averse (Forrester et al., 2022).

Hodges and Bristow (2019) suggest that this risk aversion stems, in part, from social workers’ fears that a child may come to harm if they remain living with their family. There have been several well publicised cases where children have died of abuse and neglect, even though their families were in contact with children’s services (Wilkins, 2023). At the same time, social workers have raised concerns about how the media often portray them as state agents who are more interested in removing children from families than offering support (ORS, 2023; Jones, 2014).

These difficult circumstances place enormous pressure on social workers. We know that 63 per cent of people who enter the social care sector in Wales do so because they want to “make a difference in people’s lives” (Social Care Wales, 2023). This figure is even higher for social workers, with 76 per cent of them stating this as a motivation (Social Care Wales, 2023). Despite this altruistic motivation, relationships between people accessing social care and those providing it can be difficult.

These relationships can be particularly challenging in family social work. Families who are in contact with social workers often report feeling powerless, stressed, shamed, and mistrustful (Nissen and Engen, 2021; Bilson et al., 2017). On the other hand, and especially given the context of overwhelming workloads, some social workers worry about being blamed if anything goes wrong. This can lead to ‘defensive practice’, where social workers focus on sticking to the rules (Whittaker et al., 2016). When this is the case, trying to avoid doing anything wrong or getting into trouble can sometimes be prioritised over thinking about families more holistically (Whittaker et al., 2016).

In this evidence summary, we look at research on the ways family social workers manage difficult situations. We explore how approaches that focus on building good relationships with families through reflection and supervision can increase social workers’ well-being and their ability to recognise harm.

This evidence summary sits alongside our summary on building trust with marginalised families, which looks at research on the role of strengths-based and reflective practices and gives an outline of Welsh legislation that supports the goal of improving relationships between practitioners and families.

We’ve looked at research on why social workers sometimes struggle to identify when family members are at risk. We also discuss how child protection social workers communicate with families. Research shows that making communication more empathic and less confrontational can make families more open and cooperative (Forrester et al., 2008a; Forrester et al. 2008b). We explore how social workers can be supported to communicate effectively, to reflect on what they’re doing, and process their own emotions in relation to their work.

What does research tell us about how social workers respond in challenging situations?

Social workers are often asked to offer support to families in crisis. They need to stay present and remain reflective in situations that can be highly emotional and distressing. In this section we look at why social workers sometimes struggle to see when a child is in danger or recognise domestic abuse This research suggests that social workers need to be supported to manage their own emotions in stressful situations so that they can navigate conflict better and recognise harm.

Children have died of abuse or neglect while their families were in contact with social services. Although rare, there have been tragic cases where social workers made mistakes. There’s some troubling evidence that suggests social workers sometimes not only fail to recognise domestic abuse and its significance, but may even avoid making the connection. The term ‘invisible children’ has emerged to describe cases where social workers interact with families without appreciating the gravity of the situation. It’s important to understand how social workers’ emotional responses in these situations can impact their ability to stay present and respond appropriately.

Invisible children

Ferguson (2016) carried out an ethnography with social workers who visited families to understand how children might become invisible. An ethnography is a study where researchers take part in activities with the people they research and observe things as they happen. In this case, Ferguson joined family social workers on their visits and then talked to them about what had happened. Ferguson found that, in the overwhelming majority of the 87 cases he observed, social workers interacted with children so that they could assess their well-being. However, in a small number of cases social workers didn’t interact with children at all.

Ferguson (2016) draws on psychosocial theories, which propose that we need ‘containment’ to manage our emotions. Containment is when someone we trust gives us space to reflect on our emotions and experiences. He argues that child protection professionals often feel intense emotions at work. They may feel anxiety, sadness, fear, hope, despair, or rage when interacting with families. They may struggle to process and manage these complex feelings if they’re not given a space to do so safely.

Ferguson (2016) closely analysed three cases where a child had become invisible. That is, where social workers had the opportunity to observe and interact with children within families but failed to do so. In all three cases, he found that the social workers became detached from the children because of their own anxiety and the complexity of the situation. The social workers in these three cases were so overwhelmed that they didn’t do the things they ordinarily did to make sure children were safe. This included interacting directly with children or observing them more closely and asking questions that, on reflection, they thought they should have asked. The social workers focused, instead, on finishing their appointments as quickly as possible.

Ferguson (2016) described one example, where social services had been alerted to a possible case of child neglect. The social worker involved seemed to struggle to manage the conversation, asked the mother leading questions, didn’t address things in the house that may have posed a health risk, and turned down an offer to talk to the child directly. Ferguson (2016) also noted that this assessment, taking just 15 minutes, was the shortest of any observed. He described that, when leaving the assessment, the social worker was unable to explain why she hadn’t spoken to the child. Facing a stressful and adversarial interaction with the child’s parent, the social worker had detached from the situation and hadn’t been able to carry out an assessment to their usual standard.

Ferguson (2016) described this kind of reaction as ‘non-reflexive’. This means that a social worker in a situation like this doesn’t necessarily recognise that they’ve disengaged. The detachment social workers showed in these examples was unlikely to stem from their being negligent or uncaring. In fact, the same social workers were observed interacting closely with family members in other encounters. Ferguson (2016) argues that it’s situational factors that cause social workers to become detached, as a way to protect themselves from overwhelming emotions. For example, social workers found it hard to reflect on their work if they had to switch between desk based tasks and family visits, or if they had heavy workloads. Ferguson (2016) suggests that managers need to find time to plan family visits with social workers in advance to make sure they’re prepared for potentially difficult situations. This will prevent social workers from disengaging and make sure that children are made more visible.

Managers should also offer social workers a space to acknowledge and reflect on their emotions. Social workers need time and space to evaluate the way their appointments are going, especially when situations are challenging or emotionally overwhelming. By reflecting critically, in a judgment free space, social workers are more likely to recognise when they’ve started shutting down and are no longer seeing the whole situation.

Domestic abuse and safeguarding

Social workers may also find it challenging to recognise situations where domestic abuse is occurring. Robbins and Cook (2018) ran some focus groups with women living in a shelter for victims of domestic abuse who reported having difficult relationships with social workers. They said that social workers sometimes didn’t understand aspects of abuse that made it hard for them to leave their abuser. This included emotional manipulation, financial abuse, and the fact that abuse can get worse and more dangerous when a victim tries to leave.

Robbins and Cook (2018) argue that, in cases of domestic abuse, child protection workers can cause further distress if they intervene in a way that makes victims feel they’re being made responsible for their abusers’ behaviour. Robbins and Cook’s (2018) study described how some women experiencing domestic abuse felt victimised by social workers. Social workers, by making threats about taking children into care and setting conditions around things like school attendance or substance use, were making victims feel responsible for their partner’s behaviour. They weren’t getting effective support to safeguard themselves and their families and in addition felt they were being punished for things outside of their control.

Similarly, in a study of mostly Asian and Black families in the UK, Humphreys (1999) found that social workers often followed a pendulum-like pattern with avoidance and minimisation on the one side, and confrontation on the other. Following this pattern, social workers either avoided involvement with families at an earlier stage or used extreme interventions, including removing children from families. Humphreys (1999) described several ways that social workers minimised domestic violence in their reporting. She found that domestic violence was often noted in the reports but then not mentioned in future work when decisions were made about children’s welfare. When asked about this, some social workers in the study said they hadn’t thought the domestic violence was ‘relevant’.

An example of where social workers might minimise domestic violence was where they avoided explicitly referring to it in their reports. This means using opaque language that might be seen to obscures violence, like ‘fighting’ or ‘marital conflict’. This language was used even in situations where it was very clear that individuals had been abusing their partners and children. Humphreys also found that, in some situations where domestic violence was present in families, social workers stated other issues as the main concern. For example, social workers focused more heavily on mothers’ alcohol consumption as a reason for making safeguarding interventions in these families.

What these studies have in common is that they show that social workers sometimes struggle to appreciate the connection between harm being inflicted on a parent or carer and harm being inflicted on a child. Robbins and Cook (2018) argue that, in order to engage better with victims and survivors of domestic abuse, social workers should employ a trauma-informed approach. They also argue that understanding the psychology of abuse, and particularly how isolating it can be, helps social workers build trust with victims of abuse. Developing listening skills and communicating in empathic and strengths-based ways can also help social workers support families through these very complex situations. These approaches will be explored later in this evidence summary.

Resistance from parents

Social workers can find their work challenging when they feel that parents are resisting their interventions. Forrester et al.’s (2012) research found five factors that explained why parents might resist social workers’ support or interventions. These fell into two categories: social factors, and individual and family factors. Social factors explaining resistance relate to the context in which interactions between social workers and families happen. Individual and family factors relate to the unique circumstances of each family.

Social factors

1. Social context

Forrester et al. (2012) note that most families who are in contact with child protection services will have experienced discrimination, disadvantage, or oppression in the past. These past experiences may cause parents to mistrust authorities, especially if the reason they’re involved in an intervention is related to the difficulties and injustices they face.

2. Child protection context

Being in contact with child protection services is itself a frightening experience for many parents. The fear of having a child removed and taken into care will often mean that families struggle to build trust with social workers.

Individual and family factors

1. Parental factors

Parents may feel defensive or have negative emotions towards social workers. They may feel shame, conflicted emotions about changes to their lives, or a lack of confidence in their own ability to change. 

2. Harm to children

In some cases, parents will resist contact with social workers because they are hiding abuse or other harm. Even when parents aren’t deliberately lying, they may downplay harm.

3. Resistance caused by social workers’ behaviour

Overly confrontational or deficit-focused communication styles may reduce families’ trust in social workers.

Forrester et al. (2012) argue that, in order to make sense of what social workers see as resistance from parents, we need to understand more about how social workers interact with families. In the next section, we present research on how social workers can build trust and offer effective support by communicating with families in a positive and empathic manner.

Lessons for practice

This evidence summary outlines some of the challenges that social workers face when dealing with difficult situations. We know from our research priority-setting exercises that some social care workers are concerned about resistance from parents. We also know that social workers worry that they’ll be blamed if anyone within the families they support is seriously harmed. At the same time, social workers are sometimes faced with workloads that make it hard to give each family the support and attention they need.

Research shows that social workers working with families sometimes communicate in ways that are seen as hostile by parents and don’t encourage parents to open up (Forrester et al. 2008b). It also shows that stressful or overwhelming situations can result in social workers struggling to stay focused on the situation at hand and cause them to act against their best judgment (Ferguson, 2016). These two findings should be understood in relation to one another. While social workers might sometimes talk to families in a confrontational way because of a lack of skills or understanding, this may also happen when they’re struggling to process their own emotions. Social workers can only work on their communication skills if they are supported in a strengths-based and trauma-informed way themselves.

Social workers can build trust with parents and make balanced decisions in situations where someone might come to harm in the ways we’ve listed here.

1. Developing strengths-based practices

Strengths-based practices have been given significant attention in recent years. Research shows that outcomes with families improve when social workers move away from a focus on individual deficits and blame, and move towards building on strengths (Devaney et al., 2023; Park and Peterson, 2006). Carrying out assessments in a strengths-based way involves facilitating active involvement in decision making and exploring possibilities and solutions, as opposed to discussing problems (Balmford, 2023).

2. Developing relationship-based practice

There have been calls for social care workers to think more about what role relationships play in social care work (Darley et al., 2024; Ingram and Smith, 2018). Relationship-based practice invites practitioners to think about boundaries and the power dynamics present in social work, in order to build equal and trust based relationships with the families they support.

3. Compassionate supervision

The expectations are high when it comes to supporting families in crisis. To do this well, social workers need to be supported themselves. Effective supervision can create a space for social workers to reflect on their work and interactions. A guide to effective supervision can be found on the Social Care Wales website. It’s also important to carry out supervision in a trauma-informed manner. More information about what this means can be found in our evidence summary on trauma-informed approaches (Cordis Bright and Taylor-Collins, 2024).

4. Understanding the role of social factors

Social factors have a significant impact on the likelihood of children having contact with social care services. Because of this, families facing discrimination, oppression, or poverty often don’t trust that social workers have their best interests at heart (Nissen and Engen, 2021). Understanding how different forms of oppression and disadvantage impact families will help to improve relationships with them.

More information about strengths-based practices, relationship-based practices, and the role of social factors in impacting upon social care contact can be found in our evidence summary on building trust with marginalised families.